Letter

Band 4+: You are planning a surprise birthday party for a close friend. You need to request the use of the community hall in your neighborhood. Write a letter to the community hall manager to request permission to use the hall. You should include: - the date and time you would like to book the hall - the number of guests you expect - the reason for the event and why this venue is suitable.

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Dear Mr./Ms. Manager requesting

I am writing to inform you about my planning, it is a surprise birthday for my close friend, and i beliave that your company is better choice to showing this party.

I have been looking your company’s advertisement about hall rental. That is one of the best deals that i have ever seen. Therefore, I want to reserve the hall.

I have make a scedule and decision to reserve the hall on friday 25th. I really hope the hall could be higher, because my estimated of guests will come there arround 127 people.

Additionally, I will very happy if you provide all of what I need. For example, sound system, chairs, tables and any common tolls. Another request from me is making soda, because most of my guests is really like drink it.

I am looking forward for your respond, thank you for everything.

Your faithfully,

Kasmar

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the main points of the task, including the date, estimated guest number, and special requirements. However, the tone is somewhat informal for a formal letter to a community center manager. The organization could be improved for clarity. To improve, focus on using a more formal tone and structuring the letter with a clear introduction stating the purpose, followed by specific details, and a polite closing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is weak, making it difficult to follow the request clearly. Paragraphing is present but doesn't effectively separate ideas. The introduction is vague, and the transitions between points are abrupt. To improve coherence, start with a clear statement of purpose, dedicate a paragraph to each key detail (date/time, guest count, requirements), and use transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and sometimes inaccurate ('showing this party,' 'make a scedule'). There's a lack of precision in describing needs and preferences. To enhance lexical resource, use more specific and varied vocabulary related to event planning and hall rentals. For example, instead of 'showing this party,' use 'hosting this party.' Instead of 'make a scedule,' use 'finalize the schedule.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('I have make a scedule,' 'my estimated of guests will come there arround 127 people'). Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. To improve, focus on using correct grammar and varied sentence structures. Proofread carefully to catch and correct errors. Consider using a grammar checker to identify and learn from mistakes.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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