Letter

Band 6+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter * ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are * ask what activities are available * ask what the joining procedure is You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing regarding to ask you about the process to join your local gym, and would like to know about frequently asked questions.

I recently moved to this city due to the reallocation of my work site to this town. I have also been professionally active in maintaining my health for the last 5 years, which I want to continue. I have recently come across a gym through the word of my colleague, which she is also being a member for a long time.

I would like to learn more about the membership plans offered by your gym. Thus, checking your online website, I only find basic gym membership plans, despite the wide range of plans I have seen in your latest advertisement. I am more interested in the personal training plan, and would be keen to know about the monthly subscription charges.

I am more interested in personal training by one of your certified coaches for my routine exercise, daily diet plan and beginner level of mixed martial arts training. Secondly, yoga classes on alternate days would eventually help me to stay fit.

Your faithfully,

Hardik

Word Count: 192

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

about: 4

would: 4

plans: 3

training: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all parts of the task, explaining the reason for joining, inquiring about membership options and prices, and mentioning specific facilities and classes of interest. The information is relevant and sufficient. To improve, ensure that the details about membership plans are clearer and more specific, directly referencing the advertisement and clarifying the discrepancy found online.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally organized, but some sentences are a bit awkward and could be structured more clearly to improve the flow. For example, the transition between explaining your reason for moving and your interest in maintaining your health could be smoother. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room to enhance it with more specific and varied word choices. For instance, instead of 'maintaining my health,' you could use 'pursuing a healthy lifestyle' or 'maintaining physical fitness.' Also, try to avoid overly simplistic language; for example, rephrase 'come across a gym' to something like 'learned of your gym' or 'discovered your gym through a colleague.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect the clarity of the letter. For example, 'regarding to ask you' should be 'regarding asking you' or 'regarding my inquiry about.' Also, 'which she is also being a member' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'who is also a member.' Pay close attention to prepositions, verb tenses, and sentence structure to improve accuracy.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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