Letter

Band 6+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter * ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are * ask what activities are available * ask what the joining procedure is You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to enquire about some information regarding your gym membership. I moved to the city a few weeks ago, and I decided to go to the gym. I saw your gym advertisement on TV and it motivated me. Also, I impressed by the number of the machines and personal trainers which is really imporant for me.

Last year, I injured my ankle and I had to end of my fitness adventure. Because of the situation, I gained a lot of weight and that’s the main reason of why I want to join your gym. Additionally, my other main goals are improve my fitness level in kickbox and cycle that can beneficial for my physical condition.

I would be grateful if you could provide information about any promotions or discounts currently available. I would like to know whether you offer a trial lesson because it has been such a long time since I went to the gym.

Thank you in advance for your assistance. I look forward to your respond.

Best wishes,

Simay

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all parts of the task, providing relevant information about the writer's interest in joining the gym, fitness goals, and requests for information. The content is well-organized and presented in a clear and coherent manner. To further enhance the response, consider adding more specific details about the types of membership or fitness goals to demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent and organized into paragraphs, but there are some areas where the flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between mentioning the TV advertisement and being impressed by the gym's facilities could be smoother. Consider using transitional phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and sophistication. For example, instead of saying 'it motivated me,' you could use a more descriptive phrase like 'it sparked my interest' or 'it inspired me.' Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'I impressed by the number of the machines' should be 'I was impressed by the number of machines.' Also, 'end of my fitness adventure' should be 'end my fitness adventure' or 'stop my fitness journey'. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of articles. Review your writing carefully to identify and correct these errors.

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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