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Band 5+: Environmental Damage Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

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Several countries faces the challenge of environmental damage. This essay will discuss the cause of this damage and possible ways to address this problem.

One of the cause of environmental damage is poor drainage systems. This is because most countries who suffer from environmental damage has a poor drainage system which can lead to flooding and other environmental problems yet causing the country to have a poor development. For instance, The Nigeria Environmental Management, in 2010 ,stated that the country has faced severe environmental damage in the past 12years due to the poor drainage system of the country. Not until 2015 when the Government invested in good drainage system and since then the environmental damage has reduced significantly. Poor sewage and refuse disposal could also lead to a serious environmental disaster.

A possible solution to environmental damage faced by most countries could be tackled by creating more good drainage systems. This could help reduce environmental damage because good drainage systems help reduce flooding thereby channeling these waters directly to areas where it’s meant to be rather than causing problems in main cities and roads. For example, since 2011, The German Road construction companies have built over 1000 underground drainage systems on roads and bridges and since this new development the country has seized to be faced with flooding problems . Proper waste and refuse disposal and recycling could also help reduce environmental damage.

In conclusion, poor drainage systems and substandard disposal of waste and refuse are some causes of environmental damage. This could be addressed by having good drainage systems and proper waste disposal and recycling.

Word Count: 266

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

environmental: 12

damage: 9

drainage: 9

systems: 6

could: 5

country: 4

disposal: 4

countries: 3

system: 3

flooding: 3

problems: 3

faced: 3

since: 3

refuse: 3

reduce: 3

waste: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by identifying causes and solutions, but the focus is narrow, primarily on drainage and waste disposal, which are not the most common or significant causes of environmental damage. The position is clear, and ideas are supported with examples, but the development lacks depth and precision. To improve, broaden the discussion to include major causes such as industrial pollution, deforestation, and fossil fuel consumption, and propose a wider range of solutions like government regulations, renewable energy, and public awareness. Ensure each paragraph fully develops the idea with more specific and varied examples.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. For example, the transition from the cause of poor drainage to the example of Nigeria is abrupt, and the link between the example and the main point could be clearer. Additionally, the second body paragraph introduces a solution but does not clearly connect it back to the causes discussed earlier. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'therefore', 'as a result', 'in addition') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'environmental damage', 'drainage systems', 'flooding', and 'recycling'. However, there are some inaccuracies and repetitions. For instance, 'poor drainage systems' is repeated frequently, and phrases like 'seized to be faced with flooding problems' are awkward and not idiomatic. To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, and avoid repetition by using synonyms or rephrasing. Also, ensure that word choices are natural and appropriate for the context (e.g., 'has ceased to face' instead of 'has seized to be faced'). Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('Several countries faces' should be 'face'), incorrect use of articles ('One of the cause' should be 'One of the causes'), and tense inconsistencies ('has faced' vs. 'faced'). There are also punctuation issues, such as missing commas and incorrect capitalization ('The Nigeria Environmental Management' should be 'the Nigerian Environmental Management'). To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement, use of articles, and consistent verb tenses. Additionally, vary sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical forms.

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Band 5+: Environmental Damage Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Environmental Damage Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

Environmental Damage Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

Environmental Damage Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

Environmental Damage Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

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