Opinion

Band 4+: In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in summer holidays. What is the value of long holidays? What are the arguments in favor of shorter school holidays.

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In different countries, as primary and secondary schools close for couple of months in summer or more especially on these holidays. It has a significant value for rejuvenation and it is argued about this topic because of lack of retention.

The main value of long school holidays is feeling refreshed of both teachers and students after busy days. Having a longer rest helps people not only for being physically and mentally healthy but also makes family bonds stronger. In holidays, students have a chance to explore new things and gaining knowledge about history and also young generation will learn further about culture of hometown. For example, the flexibility and skill development of learners will be grown and they can freely generate new ideas.

Debates in favour of shorter school holidays have risen due to of facing issues such as not having a retention. A significant number of students forget the topics and lose some of their knowledge as in summer holidays, learners do not study and it leads to disturbing the stability of education. By doing so, not only students will suffer to study but also it makes teacher’s work much difficult.

Moreover, making holidays can open doors to good job opportunities in the future because more learning is a preparedness.

In conclusion, while long holidays are essential for relaxation and also shorter holidays help with remembering

Word Count: 227

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

holidays: 8

students: 4

about: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your arguments. Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and avoid generalizations. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's coherence is significantly impacted by grammatical errors and unclear phrasing. The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs are weak, making it difficult to follow the argument. Paragraphing needs improvement to ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear idea. For example, the connection between the benefits of long holidays and the example provided is not clearly established. In the third paragraph, the link between shorter holidays and job opportunities needs further explanation.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and sometimes inaccurate ('feeling refreshed of both teachers and students'). There is a lack of sophisticated vocabulary and a reliance on simple words and phrases. The word choice is not always appropriate for academic writing. To improve, focus on learning synonyms and using more precise language. For example, instead of 'explore new things,' consider using 'engage in novel experiences' or 'pursue diverse interests'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect use of prepositions ('due to of facing issues'). Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear, hindering comprehension. There are also issues with punctuation. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Consider using a grammar checker and carefully reviewing your work for errors.

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