Opinion

Band 5+: In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

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In some cultures, children are encouraged to work hard to achieve their goals because they can achieve anything by doing so. I think merits of encouraging children outweigh its drawbacks.

One of the biggest advantage is that this advice gave them self-confidence, they will set high goals and work very hard to achieve these goal because they know they can achieve them. They would like to challenge themselves, this thing in their mind will boost them and doing so, they will ultimately get their aims.

Another benefit of believing oneself is that if you fail at any point, as failure is a part of everyone life, you will try harder next time and did not lose hope and after struggle you might get your desire thing. It will help a lot in our practical life because everyone need motivation at some stage, and if you had this thing in your mind, you remain ever fresh and tried to get success.

However, this advice can put the children in wrong trace too, they will try again and again to get their desire results but doing so, they will waste a lot of time. Some children might become over-confidence and set very hard goals which are practically impossible to achieve. Nevertheless, if children got a right mentor this issue can be resolve.

In conclusion, children must be encouraged to work hard and have believe that they can achieve anything just by sticking to this work. So, we should motivate them to work hard.

Word Count: 251

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

children: 6

achieve: 6

their: 4

goals: 3

because: 3

doing: 3

thing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of encouraging children to believe they can achieve anything through hard work. The position is clear, but the discussion could be more balanced by providing equal weight to both sides. Additionally, some ideas are not fully developed, and the essay could benefit from more specific examples to support the points made.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5

The essay is somewhat coherent and cohesive, but there are some issues with transitions between ideas. The flow could be improved by using more linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Additionally, the paragraph structure could be more organized to enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

4.5

There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but some words are used incorrectly or inappropriately. More precise and varied vocabulary choices would enhance the essay's lexical resource score. Additionally, some sentences could be phrased more naturally to improve the overall sophistication of language use.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.5

While there is an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, there are several grammatical errors throughout the essay. These errors include subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect verb tense usage, and punctuation mistakes. Proofreading for grammar and sentence structure would help improve the overall accuracy of the essay.

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Band 5+: In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

In some countries ,children are often toldthat they can achieve anythinh if they try hard enough

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