Opinion

Band 5+: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first purnishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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It is true that many criminals commit more violations after getting their first punishment. While there are a variety of reasons responsible for it, steps can definitely be taken to address it.

There are a bunch of reasons why criminals commit more crimes even after they get their first punishment. One possible reason is that people commit crimes and get caught, but they don’t receive the proper punishment they deserve. This gives them courage to commit these crimes again and again. Another reason is weak law in our country like after finishing the crime the criminal lives his life like a normal person and the police cannot do anything because the criminal has connections with politicians or sometimes the politician was the criminal. Besides, the poor condition of law is one of the main reasons for criminals committing crime after their first punishment.

Criminals who commit crime after their first punishment can certainly be tackled. Firstly, to stop crime, government must make strict laws so that thay can scare criminals to commit crime again. For example, if criminals get the proper punishment, they will not have the courage to do it again. Secondly, we should do some raise awareness about committing crime that can help to decrease the amount of crime happening every day. Finally, we can add a book on school or college of what happened after committing a crime it will give awareness to all students do not commit crime in future.

In conclusion, criminals committing crime after getting the first punishment will continue to be a problem unless the law of punishment becomes strict, the poor law and the easygoing punishment led the criminals to commit crime again and again after getting punished.

Word Count: 286

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

crime: 11

commit: 8

after: 8

punishment: 8

criminals: 7

again: 6

first: 5

their: 4

committing: 4

getting: 3

reasons: 3

crimes: 3

criminal: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your suggestions. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the clarity and impact of your writing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but could be improved to better separate and develop distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes weak, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument. For example, the shift between reasons for re-offending and measures to tackle the problem could be smoother. Try to use more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition of words and phrases (e.g., 'commit crime,' 'punishment'). The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but lacks precision and sophistication. There are instances of inaccurate word choice. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and pay attention to the nuances of meaning. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and expand your lexical repertoire. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Proofread carefully for errors and consider using online grammar checkers or seeking feedback from a teacher or tutor.

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Band 5+: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first purnishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first purnishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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