Opinion

Band 5+: Smartphones can have a positive effect on children's education and social development, and children should be able to use them freely in school and at home. To what extent do you agree?

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While many individuals believe that smartphones should be used at any time in schools and homes due to its positive impact, I believe that smart devices affect children negatively by making them lose their creativity and isolate them from the real world.

Children are using smart screens daily nowadays, because the digital world is growing rapidly. Therefore, all schools are asking the students to use e-learning and doing all assignments, exams and quizzes on their phones to support the teachers with more accurate and fast correction. Moreover, children are improving their social skills by making video calls with their friends and family on their smart devices so they feel more confident and comfortable.

On the other hand, the brain of the child will rely completely on these smart devices over the time, they are losing their creative thinking and problem solving abilities even with simplest daily tasks. A recent research showed that 60% of children in 2026 are using AI to do their homework, messaging their friends, and taking decisions about their lives. As a result, they will lack of strong capabilities physically and mentally as becoming lazy or suffering from anxiety.

Additionally, spending many hours on digital screens instead of having real communication with people is a big danger that threat their mentality and personality. for instance, if the child is using his own device during the class, or at home while setting with his family, he will be fully isolated from them by giving all of his attention to the videos and games on his phone instead of sharing his thoughts and ideas with his parents and teachers. That leads to a harmful impact that changes his life significantly in bad way.

In conclusion, not all people are aware of the disasters of giving smart phones to children always, that’s why many children have lost their abilities to think as smart as normal children should be. Also the impact of being fully blocked from the real world and going deeply into the immersive world of digital screens and smart phones and losing their critical communication skills that build their personality.

Word Count: 352

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 13

smart: 7

children: 6

impact: 3

devices: 3

using: 3

screens: 3

digital: 3

world: 3

phones: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, there is a significant inconsistency between the introduction and the body paragraphs. In the introduction, you state that you believe smartphones affect children negatively, yet the second paragraph discusses the benefits (e-learning and social skills) without clearly framing them as counter-arguments or views held by others. This creates a slight lack of cohesion in your overall argument. To improve, ensure that your body paragraphs follow a logical structure that supports your thesis. If you intend to present a balanced view before concluding your disagreement, use clear transition signals (e.g., 'Admittedly, some argue that...') to distinguish between opposing views and your own. Additionally, ensure that your supporting ideas are fully developed; for example, the connection between using AI and a lack of physical capability needs more logical explanation to be convincing. Finally, pay attention to grammatical accuracy regarding subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to improve clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. Some cohesive devices are used, but there are instances where the connection between sentences feels a bit abrupt. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next to create a more seamless argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate to convey the main ideas, and there is an attempt to use topic-specific terms like 'e-learning', 'immersive world', and 'digital screens'. However, there is some repetition of words (e.g., 'smart devices', 'children') and some imprecise word choices (e.g., 'threat their mentality', 'setting with his family'). Aim to use more precise synonyms and collocations to demonstrate a more sophisticated range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'due to its positive impact' referring to 'smartphones'), incorrect preposition usage ('lack of strong capabilities'), and punctuation errors (e.g., comma splices and capitalization issues). Pay close attention to sentence boundaries and ensure that complex sentences are grammatically sound to improve overall accuracy.

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