Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 6+: Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Modern technology has entered each and every field. In recent years, young people are investing significant amount of time on gadgets such as computers and laptops for both academics and enjoyment. This essay will discuss the pros associated with this and also assure that the benefits outweigh its drawbacks.

To initiate with, youngsters can get many pros by spending time with modern technology. Firstly, learners can access education from online resources. They can learn about anything because of the variety of content available online. For example, there are a number of aspirants of UPSC exam, who live in Ludhiana but take online classes from teachers in Delhi where all the experts of this particular exam reside. Moreover, it helps in staying connected with the global news and innovation. To explain it further, due to the easy accessibility of internet a news can be spread to a large audience within few seconds. Therefore, they can stay updated with every happening in their surroundings.

Additionally, what makes technology usage particularly valuable for children is, increasing the chances of future opportunities. In this competitive world, technology is advancing day by day. So, there is high probability of more employment in Information Technology. When the children start using it since their early age, they can achieve expertise and expect a bright future. In addition to it, by choosing computers and laptops for entertainment, can secure pupils from being the victim of crime. According to a survey conducted by Police Services and Boards, in 2024 the major reason of children kidnapping was playing in parks and public places without parents supervision.

To recapitulate, although using technology excessively can have negative effect on individuals, but the positives are far more. As, it facilitates with easy access of study material, adapting crucial skills for future employment opportunities, getting aware of current news, and provides safety from becoming a prey of crime.

Word Count: 314

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

technology: 6

online: 3

children: 3

future: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that the advantages of children spending time on technology outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as online learning resources and future employment opportunities. However, the development of some ideas lacks precision, and the connection between technology use and crime prevention could be stronger. To improve, focus on providing more specific and detailed explanations for each point, and ensure that all arguments are logically sound and well-supported.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a generally clear progression of ideas, but the connections between some points could be strengthened. While paragraphing is present, consider using topic sentences more effectively to introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Transition words are used, but their application could be more varied and sophisticated to enhance the flow of the argument. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition to the point about global news could be smoother. In the third paragraph, the connection between 'increasing the chances of future opportunities' and the subsequent discussion of IT employment could be made more explicit.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and nuanced language. While the vocabulary is generally accurate, some phrases could be more natural and sophisticated. For instance, instead of 'investing significant amount of time on gadgets,' consider alternatives like 'dedicating considerable time to devices' or 'spending a substantial amount of time using technology.' Also, try to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to technology and its impact on education and entertainment.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and impact clarity in several places. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. For example, 'young people are investing significant amount of time' should be 'young people are investing a significant amount of time.' Also, review the use of commas and other punctuation marks to ensure they are used correctly. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall grammatical accuracy.

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Band 6+: Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours everyday on their computers, tablets, smartphones and spend a large part of freetime using their devices. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive. Why is this ? Is this is positive or negative?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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