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Band 4+: Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child's development while others believe that other factors (friends, television, music …) have a stronger effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is argued that some people feel that family is the most important thing to influence powerful to child revolution however others believe that other resources such as ( Television and friends ,music again like that activities play important rule in the present time in this essay I will try to explore clearly and I partly agree to first side

To begin with, if children have parents education they will actually grow great person and have some experience and knowledge in that case children will develop fast and well one of the main reason for that family impact their behavior and development of these that why ,family is one of the most import thing for them and plays a great role child development so they are under parents hands and the control of them they can get some necessary information in front of family

One of the controversial issue, some activities are not unnecessary such as music and Television in addition friends if they do these they cannot develop fast and well a because of these activities influence for child development furthermore friend and playing online games that occasion make people not to do their homework and others

To sum up , family is the most powerful influence in child development that other unnecessary resources this way plays better role than others and it was accounted that too in most foreign nations for instance in America however music and friends furthermore playing games on phone it let young children to reduce studying in consequently to development.

Word Count: 256

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

development: 5

family: 4

child: 4

influence: 3

friends: 3

music: 3

activities: 3

children: 3

these: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the topic but the development of ideas is limited and not always clear. The position is present but could be stronger. The essay would benefit from clearer explanations and more specific examples to support the arguments. Focus on developing each point more fully and providing evidence to back up your claims. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The introduction is unclear, and the body paragraphs lack focused arguments. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's line of reasoning. The conclusion is also abrupt and doesn't effectively summarize the main points. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay with a clear thesis statement, topic sentences for each paragraph, and logical transitions between ideas. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined point that supports your overall argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with frequent repetition of simple words and phrases. There are also instances of inaccurate word choice and awkward phrasing, which detract from the clarity of the writing. To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary related to the topic, using synonyms and more precise language. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to make your writing sound more natural and sophisticated.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in sentence structure. These errors significantly impede the reader's understanding of the text. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your confidence grows. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors.

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