Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 7+: We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

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Issues in terms of control and security outweigh the benefits that come with the internet. That said, due to the establishment of technical policies and how internet offers free educational lessons for people with different backgrounds, I firmly disagree with the statement in question.

Firstly, user data is often protected under law enforcement. In other words, data protection frameworks ensure that users know what personal data is collected, and make sure that they have rights to demand companies to delete them. On top of that, organizations can only collect data for a specific, stated purpose, and they are legally required to use security measures, such as encryption. For instance, Ireland’s Data Protection system penalized and sued Tiktok’s parent company, ByteDance for 530 million euros, as a result of allowing minor europeans’ data to be sent to servers in China with minimal protection. This proves that users are regaining control over their personal information and are protected by the government policies.

Secondly, internet provides a variety of priceless courses for individuals from anywhere. To put it another way, there are lots of free educational resources, such as programming lessons and business fundamentals available on websites and apps. Moreover, the only requirement for these materials is internet access, meaning that they are available in any country and continent. Namely, computer science lessons from 2025 Harvard CS50 offered on edX platform was completed by over 2 million users, as it also covered about 85 countries.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that the arrival of internet brought more significant advantages than downsides, since how internet offers free educational services worldwide and how control and data leak problems are being actively handled by the digital data security laws.

Word Count: 283

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

internet: 6

control: 3

security: 3

educational: 3

lessons: 3

protection: 3

users: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear, consistent position throughout the response. The ideas are well-developed, and the use of specific examples (such as the TikTok fine and Harvard's CS50) provides strong support for the arguments made. The transition between the discussion of security and the discussion of educational benefits is logical. To reach a higher band, ensure that the counter-argument (the 'problems' mentioned in the prompt) is more explicitly acknowledged or integrated into the body paragraphs to show a more nuanced understanding of the debate. While you argue why the problems are being managed, a brief acknowledgment of the severity of the risks before refuting them would create a more sophisticated argumentative structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' effectively to guide the reader. However, some transitions between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. To improve, ensure that the connection between your specific examples and your main argument is more explicit. For instance, when discussing the Harvard CS50 example, more clearly link how this specific benefit outweighs the security risks mentioned in the prompt.

Lexical Resource

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'data protection frameworks', 'encryption', and 'educational resources'. The use of specific terms like 'penalized' and 'minimal protection' shows ability. To reach a higher band, aim for more sophisticated collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing. For example, instead of saying 'lots of free educational resources', you could use 'a vast array of complimentary educational materials'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies that occasionally hinder the flow. Common issues include article usage (e.g., 'the internet' instead of 'internet'), subject-verb agreement, and pluralization (e.g., 'minor europeans' data' should be 'minors' data' or 'the data of European minors'). Pay close attention to noun-pronoun agreement, such as 'demand companies to delete them' where 'them' refers to 'personal data' (which is uncountable and should be 'it'). Refining these technical aspects will significantly improve your score.

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Band 7+: We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages.

Other Topics:

Nowadays, more and more people want to get things done instantly (such as services, information, and tasks). Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

These days, online shopping is becoming increasingly popular. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perecieved as entertainment. Is it is positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience.

Some people believe that children should be given strict rules to follow, while others think they should be allowed to make their own decisions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

An increasing number of people are now using the internet to meet new people and socialise. Some people think it has brought people closer together while others think people are becoming more isolated.

In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perecieved as entertainment. Is it is positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience.

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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