Positive And Negative

Band 6+: With the growing population in cities, many people are living in small homes that do not have outdoor spaces. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Some people believe that with the growth of the population, more individuals live in homes with small outdoor areas. I think that this is a positive development as it saves space for public areas, and it is not necessary for people to have big outdoor areas.

To begin with, I think that housing with small outdoor areas is a positive development as it saves space for public areas. What I mean is that small outdoor areas don’t take a lot of space in the city. Consequently, more space is left for public areas, such as parks and shopping malls. Those areas are free for every citizen, and could be enjoyed by anyone willing. Big outdoor areas, however, take more space than smaller ones, which decreases the amount of free space for public areas.

Moreover, I am convinced that homes with small outdoor areas are a positive development because big outdoor areas are not of vital importance for people. Indeed, individuals aren’t restricted with their outdoor areas. If they are willing to unwind or socialize, they are free to visit such public places as parks or shopping malls to fulfill their social needs. On top of that, if someone isn’t satisfied with their outdoor areas, they simply can expand it through payment.

To conclude, I believe that homes with small outdoor areas is a positive development because it saves space for public areas, and it isn’t that necessary for people to have big outdoor areas.

Word Count: 244

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

areas: 15

outdoor: 11

space: 7

public: 6

small: 5

people: 4

positive: 4

development: 4

homes: 3

saves: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The ideas are relevant and generally supported, but there could be more specific examples or further elaboration to strengthen the arguments. To improve, focus on providing more concrete details and exploring the potential drawbacks of smaller outdoor areas to present a more balanced perspective. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally coherent and well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are presented logically, and transitions are used to connect them. However, there could be more sophisticated use of cohesive devices to further enhance the flow of the essay. For example, varying the sentence structure and using a wider range of linking words could improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, and the words are generally used appropriately. However, there are opportunities to use more precise and sophisticated vocabulary to express ideas more effectively. For example, instead of repeatedly using "positive development," consider using synonyms or more specific terms to add nuance to your writing. Also, try to incorporate more idiomatic expressions where appropriate. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used. While the grammar is mostly accurate, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage. Reviewing and editing your work carefully can help you identify and correct these errors.

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