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Band 4+: With the rise of social media, people are increasingly sharing personal information online. What are the potential risks and benefits of this behavior? Do you think social media companies should be responsible for protecting users' privacy?

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Nowadays people have a big addiction with social media.They are not afraid of sharing their private information but it will become a major issue in the future.

To begin with, human’s deeper fall in the online community because people don’t have a time to meeting with friends and relatives. So, the online application have more opportunity to communicating in people and it is becoming popular with young people who don’t have a friend or could have a problem with chatting in real life. Even , people can date in social media and it helps them to meet their couple.

On the other hand, there have been many problems and cyberattacks in social media because people are being damaged with personal information. Moreover in the online community have many hackers and offenders who can deceive their personal date. Also , they are able to bring a credit card in your bank account and have a crime like white-collar crime and cybercrime. It will be suffer in our life and environment. Therefore, we need measures to solve this issues and prepared for this occasion.For example applications must been more privacy and check their postcode to link them in email.

In conclusion , people need to care about in social media and their safety because it play crucial role in daily life. Everything connected in social communication and in the future our life has been becoming in digital era.

Word Count: 236

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 7

social: 5

their: 5

online: 3

because: 3

media: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt but incompletely. A position is presented, but the development is not always clear, and some ideas are limited and not sufficiently developed. There is some repetition. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential risks and benefits with clear explanations. Also, ensure that your ideas are logically organized and that each paragraph has a clear focus. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. Paragraphing is present but doesn't effectively separate ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. The introduction and conclusion are underdeveloped and don't provide a clear framework for the essay. To improve, focus on structuring your essay with a clear thesis statement, topic sentences for each paragraph, and logical transitions between ideas. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined point.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice and usage. There is reliance on simple words and phrases, which restricts the depth of expression. Some words are used inappropriately or imprecisely. To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary related to the topic, paying attention to collocations and nuances of meaning. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and expand your word choices, but always ensure the words fit the context accurately. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear, hindering comprehension. Punctuation errors are also noticeable. To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Proofread carefully for errors and consider using grammar-checking tools to identify and correct mistakes. Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure each sentence is grammatically complete and clear.

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Band 4+: With the rise of social media, people are increasingly sharing personal information online. What are the potential risks and benefits of this behavior? Do you think social media companies should be responsible for protecting users' privacy?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

With the rise of social media, people are increasingly sharing personal information online. What are the potential risks and benefits of this behavior? Do you think social media companies should be responsible for protecting users’ privacy?

With the rise of social media, people are increasingly sharing personal information online. What are the potential risks and benefits of this behavior? Do you think social media companies should be responsible for protecting users’ privacy?

With the rise of social media, people are increasingly sharing personal information online. What are the potential risks and benefits of this behavior? Do you think social media companies should be responsible for protecting users’ privacy?

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Scientists believe that obesity in people has increased. People believe that education can help to reduce this problem, but others believe that education has no significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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question:As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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