Opinion

Band 5+: Write about the following topic: The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

The US film industry is one of the biggest film industries in the world if not the biggest one, and everyone around the world at least watched a movie that was prodused by HOLLYWOOD, and due to this global reach of their films, they have a huge influence, and it project the culture of the USA in those movies. However, some people think that the goverment shoud step in and invest money in their own movie industry.

Personly, i agree that the US goverment have to focus more in this field, because it project the culture and the identity of american people, and HOLLYWOOD may not be able to give the best image or the absulote reality in their movies. As a result, the consumer of those films may has a wrong idea about the reality of the US, and it expand in almost every part of the life there. Begining from the lifestyle to the way of thinking even the relation between the american citizen and god or goverment. For example, a lot of movies about the FBI or the CIA do not give the full picture of what actualy happens in the field. Also that HOLLYWOOD does not support the authentic traditions and culture of the origin people of the US, and promote some ideas and agendas under the name of freedom, ideas that go against the human nature and most of the religions even against the moral standards.

To sum up, even though the US film industry of “HOLLYWOOD” gives a lot of benifits for the country in many cases from the money to promoting tourisme, at the same time it does not cover the whole and actuel reality, that is why the goverment should try to make a move to develop and present the culture to the world in a good ways without distortion.

words 308/500

Word Count: 310

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

culture: 4

goverment: 4

world: 3

hollywood: 3

their: 3

movies: 3

people: 3

reality: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and could be more developed. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your arguments. Also, ensure that your examples directly support your claims and avoid generalizations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas could be clearer. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, hindering the overall flow. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the logical structure of your arguments. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' or 'Therefore' can help guide the reader through your reasoning.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'prodused,' 'shoud,' 'absulote,' 'actualy,' 'benifits,' 'tourisme'). To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using a wider range of words that are appropriate for the context. Pay attention to spelling and word formation to enhance clarity. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work. For example, 'Personly, i agree that the US goverment have to focus more in this field' should be 'Personally, I agree that the US government has to focus more on this field.'

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