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Band 4+: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Nowdays,there are some species of animals that experience a huge decrease in their number while many others seem a smilar risk of extinct due to hunting and killing illegolly and human activities in polution and their dishes.However,goverments should make laws against those and change the way of thorwing dishes.

In the terms of the reasons that make that decrease in the number of animalsi is illegal hunting.Many hunters are killing a huge number of various type of animals in lands and also in sea.This thing can lead to decrease the number of them.To illustrate, there are some research about the huge decrease of white tiggers number during the last 5 years.This reaserch showed that the main cause for that was the over hunting in forest.In addition,pollution is also a reason for animals death.For example,due to the increase of sea dishes, various types of fish like Salmon are extincting during those years.

In order to reduce those problems and solving the servivers,goverments should put strict laws for those who hunting animals illegalley.Making for every type of animals a specific number of hunt to let animals live and create new generations.Other solution,authorities must engourage reduncing of dishes and using others type of suistanable energy like solar power and air power to reduce the amount of oil sprerad in the sea in order to create new life in it.

To conclude,huge number of animals decrease dramatically due the illegal action in the nature by hunting and poluting.However,enhancing strict laws against hunters and decrease human dishes can lead to solve this problem and prevent the next animals generation from extincting.

Word Count: 266

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

animals: 8

number: 7

decrease: 6

hunting: 4

those: 4

dishes: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, presenting a position and offering some relevant ideas. However, the development of these ideas lacks clarity and precision. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the connections between your points and the overall argument. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but could be more effectively used to separate distinct points. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often weak or missing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. For example, the connection between the reasons for animal extinction and the proposed solutions could be strengthened with clearer transitions. Focus on using cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'in contrast,' 'therefore') to improve the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are instances of inaccurate word choice ('dishes' instead of 'waste'). The vocabulary used is generally basic and lacks sophistication. To improve, focus on learning synonyms and using more precise language. Pay attention to collocations and ensure that words are used in their correct context. For example, explore alternative ways to express 'decrease in number' or 'illegal hunting' using more varied and specific vocabulary. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors frequently impede understanding. There is a limited range of sentence structures, and complex sentences often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review verb tenses, articles, and prepositions. Consider breaking down complex ideas into simpler sentences to ensure accuracy.

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