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Band 6+: The charts below show the percentage of secondary school students at a school in the UK taking different subjects in 1995 and this year

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The image contains two pie charts representing student subject percentages: in 1995, Geography 21%, RS 9%, Drama 12%, Business 16%, History 26%, Art 15%; currently, Geography 23%, IT 27%, Business 16%, History 25%, Art 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of secondary school pupils at a school in the United Kingdom attending in variety of subjects in 1995 and now.

Overall, it is evidence that more students prefer Geography and History in both years. Business has the identical percentage of students in both years. However, Art has lost many students and instead of Drama and RS classes, there is a new IT lessons for students from secondary school.

In 1995, Most of the students preferred to study History with 26% of students. There was also a demand for Geography classes and 21% of pupils took this subject. While Business and Art have almost the same percentage of students attending them 16% and 15% respectively. Drama classes were not too popular during that time at school that 12% of secondary school students participated on Drama classes. Only 9% of the whole secondary school’s students take part in RS classes.

Now, instead of drama and RS classes there is now. IT class is taking the lead, 27% of the students in the secondary school are participating on IT classes. History and Geography remained almost exact same percentage of students 25% and 23% respectively. Business didn’t lose its participation, 16% of the secondary school are participating on it, same as in 1995. Art class now not has enough students; it is the least participating class now.

Word Count: 229

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 11

secondary: 6

school: 6

classes: 6

drama: 4

geography: 3

history: 3

business: 3

percentage: 3

there: 3

class: 3

participating: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview and specific details from the pie charts. There are some minor omissions, such as not explicitly mentioning the total absence of Drama and RS in the current year in the overview. To improve, consider including more comparative language throughout the report to highlight the changes between 1995 and the present day more effectively. Also, ensure that all significant changes and data points are mentioned, even if briefly.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally organized with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs for each year. However, the flow could be improved with better transitions between sentences and ideas. The overview is present but could be more insightful, highlighting the most significant changes rather than just stating facts. Paragraphing is adequate, but linking ideas between paragraphs could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit repetitive (e.g., 'percentage of students'). Consider using synonyms and more sophisticated language to describe trends and comparisons. For instance, instead of 'Business has the identical percentage,' you could say 'Business maintained a consistent proportion.' Also, avoid informal language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'attending in variety of subjects' should be 'attending a variety of subjects,' and 'there is a new IT lessons' should be 'there are new IT lessons'. Proofreading carefully and focusing on basic grammar rules would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.

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