Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie charts below give information about what young people in Australia did after leaving Secondary school in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information for a University lecturer. Make comparisons where relevent

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The image contains three pie charts for the years 1980, 1990, and 2000, showing data for employed, further education, and unemployed categories in percentages for young people in Australia after university. In 1980: employed 60%, further education 10%, unemployed 30%. In 1990: employed 40%, further education 50%, unemployed 10%. In 2000: employed 55%, further education 37%, unemployed 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrate the data of what young school graduates in Australia did after passing secondary school education in 1980,1990 and 2000.Overall, It was seen that the majority of graduates got employed after graduation while,rest of the students pursued further education or remained unemployed.

In 1980,about 40% of fresh graduates got jobs. It was followed by a sharp increase every decade (50% in 1990 and 55% in 2000).On the other hand,in 1980,half of the students who passed the school further started pursuing education.However,in 1990,this percentage dropped below 40% in both decades (38% in 1990 and 37% in 2000) respectively.

In 1990, one tenth of the candidates who completed the studies remained jobless. This ratio slightly rose to 12% in 1990 while, it went down to 8% in 2000.In conclusion,the employment ratio increased with time whereas, people pursuing post-graduation studies went down and unemployement percentage remained stable around 10% in Australia.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 3

graduates: 3

remained: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported from the pie charts. For example, the employment rate in 1980 is stated as 40% in the report, but the visual information states 60%. Also, the report states that half the students pursued further education in 1980, but the visual information states 10%. The report also states that the unemployment ratio rose to 12% in 1990, but the visual information states 10%. These inaccuracies detract from the task achievement. To improve, ensure that the data reported is accurate and consistent with the visual information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information, but the flow is disrupted by inaccuracies and a lack of clear connections between ideas. Paragraphing is present but could be used more effectively to group related information. To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and logical. Pay attention to the accuracy of the data presented to avoid misleading the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks the precision needed to accurately describe the data. There is some repetition of words and phrases. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, proportions, and comparisons. Incorporate synonyms and more specific terms to add depth and clarity to the descriptions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. There are issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles and prepositions. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a variety of sentence structures and reviewing basic grammar rules. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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Band 5+: The pie charts below give information about what young people in Australia did after leaving Secondary school in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information for a University lecturer. Make comparisons where relevent

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The pie charts below give information about what young people in Australia did after leaving Secondary school in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information for a University lecturer. Make comparisons where relevent

The pie charts below give information about what young people in Australia did after leaving Secondary school in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information for a University lecturer. Make comparisons where relevent

The pie charts below give information about what young people in Australia did after leaving Secondary school in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information for a University lecturer. Make comparisons where relevent

The pie charts below give information about what young people in Australia did after leaving Secondary school in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information for a University lecturer. Make comparisons where relevent

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