Letter

Band 5+: You recently purchased a faulty electronic device from an online retailer. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online retailer to complain about the device. You should include details about: - The product and date of purchase - A description of the fault - What action you would like the retailer to take.

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Hi! My name is Zere.

Recently, about 2 weeks ago I bought a Canon Camera from your online store. I’ve checked the page several times where was the advertisment of product to make sure that this is original and new. I liked this camera so much and chose it because of the quality of pictures. I recieved my purchase today and it was damaged. The box was wripped, and the case of the camera was opened. I was hoping that the camera is new, but the lens were broken. I looked for new lenses inside the box thinking that they put extra ones for every cituation, but i did not found anything. I dont know how this hapenned but i think that delivery was not careful and accurate with boxes. Later I phoned the man who delivered my camera, he said that i should write a report.

I would like to refund my money or if you could i would be happy for new one.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

camera: 5

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by describing the damaged item, explaining the steps taken, and stating the desired action. However, the tone is a bit informal for a formal letter to customer service. To improve, focus on using more formal language and structuring the letter with clear paragraphs for each point.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but paragraphing could be improved to separate distinct points more effectively. Transitions between ideas are weak, making the letter feel disjointed. For example, the shift from describing the damage to mentioning the delivery person feels abrupt. Consider using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs logically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and somewhat repetitive. While the meaning is generally clear, the letter lacks the range and precision needed for a higher score. For instance, using more descriptive words to detail the damage to the camera and box would enhance the letter. Try to incorporate synonyms and more specific vocabulary related to electronics and customer service. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('recieved' instead of 'received'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('every cituation' instead of 'every situation'). These errors frequently impede understanding and detract from the letter's overall impact. Focus on improving basic grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity.

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