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Letter

Band 5+: You recently purchased a mobile phone from an online store, but it arrived with a cracked screen and a faulty battery. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online store complaining about the damaged phone. You should include details about: - The date you purchased the phone and order number - Describe the damage to the phone and its faulty battery - What action you expect them to take (e.g., a refund or a replacement)

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Store Team,

Recently, I purchased a new handheld device from your online store and it arrived at my door within couple of weeks. The reason I am writing this letter is to let you know that the screen of my mobile was damaged and when I boot up the device, nothing was showing up on the screen.In addition, the mobile did not have any other contents such as charging cable which was mentioned at your site. The mobile did have some dents at the back which were maybe the consequences of mishandling by the person who delivered.

To resolve all this, I tried to search the problem online, however this was not such a regular case, so I did not found anything pleasing. After all the trouble, I decided to try to reboot it once again, this time the phone did make sound of booting up, but as the screen was gone, the phone just projected fragments of light in between the cracks. In this case, I just want the refund or a complete new device as I can not bare the fact that a newly purchased phone can be in this condition, as well as, I need a kind of compensation for the delay and trouble it caused to my schedule.

To conclude, I am really disappointed and worried about my money which has already been deposited to you for this faulty device, so, I need urgent action from your side at this issue.

Yours truly,

Dilpreet

Word Count: 249

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

device: 4

mobile: 3

which: 3

phone: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

7

The letter adequately addresses the task by describing the problem, explaining the actions taken, and stating the desired resolution. There are some minor issues with clarity and tone, particularly in expressing the desired compensation. To improve, focus on using more precise language and maintaining a consistently professional tone throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

5

The letter is generally coherent, but some sentences could be restructured for better flow. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, in the second paragraph, the sequence of actions could be clarified with transitional phrases. Paragraphing is adequate, but could be improved by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main point.

Lexical Resource

5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. For instance, instead of 'nothing was showing up on the screen,' you could use more specific terms like 'the screen was unresponsive' or 'the display was non-functional.' Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition of words like 'mobile' and 'device.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5

The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'within couple of weeks' should be 'within a couple of weeks.' Also, the sentence structure in the second paragraph could be improved for better readability. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and appropriate use of articles. Proofreading carefully before submission can help catch these errors.

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