Letter

Band 5+: You recently purchased an electronic device from an online store, but it arrived damaged. You have contacted the store's customer service, but the issue remains unresolved. Write a letter to the manager of the online store explaining the problem. You should include details about: - The specifics of the damage to the device - What steps you have already taken to resolve the issue - What action you expect them to take to fix the situation

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction about a product that I ordered through your website. I also think that the customer service team needs more training.

First of all, I wanted to buy a gaming laptop to play with my friends. Seeing your positive reviews online and competitive prices. I decided to order through your website a Lenovo Legion gaming laptop as it was within my range with good specifications.

After 1 week it arrived at my home but the disappointment came through as I opened the box. It was a completely different laptop with lower specifications as it was a school laptop. I tried contacting the customer service but unfortunately without response, after 1 day there was someone who called me and told me that he will scale my problem to his supervisor. However after 1 week of waiting still no one contacted me.

I would highly appreciate it if you can replace the laptop to what I actually ordered. I also kindly request from you to check on your customer service team as they might need a refresher training.

Thank you in advance and I’m hoping to hear from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Sleiman

Word Count: 201

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

laptop: 5

through: 3

customer: 3

service: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately covers all requirements of the task, providing sufficient detail about the purchase, the problem, and the desired action. The explanation of the situation is clear, and the request for action is reasonable. To improve, ensure that the tone remains consistently formal throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider dedicating a separate paragraph to each of the three points mentioned in the task instructions: explaining the situation and what you bought, describing the problem, and stating the expected action. This will enhance clarity. Also, the transition between the description of the problem and the attempt to contact customer service could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some specific terms related to the product (e.g., 'gaming laptop,' 'specifications'). To enhance the lexical resource, try incorporating more varied and precise language to describe your dissatisfaction and the desired resolution. For example, instead of just saying 'disappointment came through,' you could use a more impactful phrase like 'I was deeply dismayed to find...'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, the sentence 'Seeing your positive reviews online and competitive prices' is a fragment and lacks a main verb. Similarly, 'I tried contacting the customer service but unfortunately without response' could be phrased more accurately. Review and correct these errors to improve grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct use of prepositions.

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