Letter

Band 7+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter * ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are * ask what activities are available * ask what the joining procedure is You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:

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Hello Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to inquire about the types of memberships your establishment offers. Does your website has all the vital information I am looking for? In addition to that, if you could assist me by sending the expense structure for each membership, that would be beneficial for me. Also, I might need a trainer to aid me to achieve my fitness goals.

Apart from that, could you please aquaint what type of activities are there in your facility? I want to enroll myself in, especially in aerobics classes, if available. Furthermore, I heard that this gym organizes special Karate classes. Now, I am thinking, If I had joined this fitness centre way before, I would have achieved black belt in Karate.

Finally, I would be so greatful, if you could enlighten me with the registration process. Also, what type of documents are paramount for enrolling. Besides that, what mode of payment you accept, and what is the usual due date of membership fee?

I am looking forward to hearing back from you.

Yours sincerely,

Amandeep.

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

could: 3

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately covers all requirements of the task, asking about membership types and prices, available activities, and the joining procedure. The letter is well-organized and uses a polite and formal tone. While the content is relevant and sufficient, there are a few minor areas for improvement. For example, the second paragraph contains some slightly irrelevant information about wishing to have joined earlier to achieve a black belt in Karate. Overall, the letter is well-written and effectively addresses the prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and the purpose is clear. However, there are a few instances where the flow could be improved. For example, the transition between asking about membership costs and mentioning the need for a trainer feels a bit abrupt. Similarly, the conditional sentence about Karate feels somewhat out of place and disrupts the overall coherence. Consider using more explicit transitions to connect ideas and maintain a consistent focus on the inquiries.

Lexical Resource

The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some sophisticated word choices like 'establishment,' 'expense structure,' 'acquaint,' and 'paramount.' However, there are also instances where the language could be more natural and precise. For example, 'Does your website has all the vital information' could be improved to 'Does your website contain all the necessary information?' or 'Does your website provide all the information I need?' Overall, focus on refining word choices to enhance clarity and naturalness.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are a few errors that need attention. The sentence 'Does your website has all the vital information I am looking for?' contains a subject-verb agreement error ('has' should be 'have'). The conditional sentence 'If I had joined this fitness centre way before, I would have achieved black belt in Karate' is grammatically correct but feels somewhat awkward in the context. Proofreading carefully to identify and correct these minor errors will improve the overall impression.

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