Opinion

Band 4+: Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people believe that government have responsibility to invest money at young age training rather than spent it on preparing for international events.I believe that money play crucial role regarding to what we used for ,so the countries should balanced between need and demand .

On one hand ,spending money on international competitions such as World Cup will raise the country rank between others .In addition the nation will be a center of attention for future tourism if won ,whereas this increase the money as positive outcome in indirect way ,for example: after World Cup that held in 2024 after Saudi Arabia defeated Argentine that reflects on Saudi tourism by 50% increased comparing with last year.

On other hand, the youth is the building block for society so support them in different ways also important especially in training .Moreover, the invest during young ages will give the results in future and that will have beneficial effect on individual and government .

In conclusion , spending money on training young ages will give them the opportunity to develop skills and knowledge that will help to improve the future and serve the community .Also, spend money on preparing competitors to participate in international events also important for the country rank among others.I beleaguered both are important and have positive impact for society and individuals and the countries should balanced between need and demand regarding the impotent and less important factors.

Word Count: 238

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

money: 6

important: 4

young: 3

training: 3

international: 3

between: 3

future: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and presents a clear position: that a balance between the two types of spending is necessary. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention the benefits of international events (tourism and national ranking) and the importance of youth (building blocks of society), these points are not sufficiently expanded with depth or specific reasoning. The example provided regarding Saudi Arabia and the World Cup is a good attempt at support, but the factual accuracy is not required for the score; rather, the logical connection to the argument needs to be stronger. To improve, you should aim to: 1. Extend your arguments: Instead of just stating that youth training is important, explain *how* it benefits the economy or society in the long term (e.g., creating a skilled workforce). 2. Improve coherence: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic sentence and that the supporting sentences flow logically from it. 3. Refine vocabulary and grammar: There are several errors in word choice (e.g., 'beleaguered' is used incorrectly here) and grammatical structures (e.g., 'money play crucial role regarding to what we used for') that occasionally obscure the meaning. Focus on using precise academic language. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that cohesive devices (like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand') are used to transition smoothly between contrasting ideas. Some sentences are a bit fragmented, which makes the logical flow difficult to follow in certain sections.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but there is a limited range of lexical items. There are several instances of incorrect word choices (e.g., 'beleaguered' used incorrectly in the conclusion) and repetitive phrasing. To reach a higher band, aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and collocations. For example, instead of 'increase the money,' use 'generate revenue' or 'boost the economy.' Pay close attention to word forms (e.g., using 'investment' instead of 'the invest').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'government have' instead of 'governments have'), tense consistency, and sentence structure. There are also errors in preposition usage and article usage. I recommend focusing on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately. Practicing the use of relative clauses and conditional sentences will help increase your grammatical range.

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