Opinion

Band 5+: Task 2 It is impossible to help all people in the world, so the government should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It was argued that solving the global issues was impossible for a country, so it is better that government should focus on the issues on their country. I strongly agree with this notion, which I will elaborate on below.

To begin with, focusing on the problems in their country are more urgent for goverments tackle rather than to other country’s problem. This is mainly because solving problem such as poverty and job opportunities are more crucial to obtain to escalate the economic condition. To illustrate, widening job opportunities in developing country such as Indonesia will leads to better economic condition, whereas it might also solve poverty issues as the unemployed citizen plummet.

Meanwhile, it is true that helping other country’s problem will be beneficial in a long run because it shows our awareness among global issues. Thus, if we put attention and effort to their problem, it can makes us seen as a partner and it will build loyality which it could be advantegous in the future and they might be labelling this situation as their debt, so they will protect our country’s safety in the future. Furtthermore, eventough this might be good, but goverments must be more concern to the issues in their country. They have to prioritise the problems and help its country issues to increase the public trust. For instance, if the main issue in a country is poor quality in education, the goverments have to proof their awareness by making a regulation to overcome this problem.

Word Count: 250

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

country: 7

issues: 6

their: 6

problem: 5

goverments: 3

country's: 3

might: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the reasoning behind your arguments. Focus on developing each point more fully to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between paragraphs and sentences are not always smooth, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to connect your ideas and improve the overall coherence. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, clear point to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks the precision needed to express complex ideas effectively. There is some repetition of words and phrases. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and explore synonyms to avoid repetition. Focus on using more precise language to convey your ideas more accurately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. These errors significantly affect the clarity and accuracy of the writing. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work.

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Band 5+: Task 2 It is impossible to help all people in the world, so the government should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Task 2 It is impossible to help all people in the world, so the government should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Task 2 It is impossible to help all people in the world, so the government should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Task 2 It is impossible to help all people in the world, so the government should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Task 2 It is impossible to help all people in the world, so the government should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Task 2 It is impossible to help all people in the world, so the government should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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