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Band 4+: n the future, traditional classrooms will no longer be necessary because online education will replace them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Today,there is a strong debate whether in future,online education will be more convinient than traditional offline schools.In this essay I am going to explain,why system of traditional method of education could not be replaced by online classrooms.

Personally,I totally ensure that schools, gives society not only subjects knowledge,but something more important-communication skills.Classmates are the first community that childs learn to interact with,there they find first confidents and learns about relationship in a deeper way.For instance,in 2001 there was science research among adults in age from 25 to 40,about when they met their first friend.As a result,75% of individuals had first relations with a partner in schools.Therefore, I believe-there is no any alternatives for traditional type of education.

Secondly,it would be much more problematic to transfer all of education from traditional to online.For instance,in developing countries unwealth families would not be able to afford fast internet access,moreover,average mobile phone or laptop could be expensive as well.From the another point of view, I didnt include troubles taking start in a simple apps,that would be alternative,such as bags,internet or techical problems.That’s why remain classroms in schools is the best idea to improve our education.

To sum up,offline education is required to be stable,due to advantages towards young childs and possible artificial problems from online apps and technologies.

Word Count: 214

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

education: 4

traditional: 4

first: 4

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The main ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the reasoning behind your claims. Also, ensure a clearer structure within each paragraph to enhance coherence. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's coherence is significantly impacted by grammatical errors and phrasing issues, making it difficult to follow the line of reasoning. Paragraphing is present but could be used more effectively to separate distinct ideas. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, hindering the flow of the argument. To improve, focus on using clear topic sentences, logical connectors, and ensuring each paragraph addresses a single, focused idea.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice ('ensure' instead of 'believe'). There is an attempt to use more complex vocabulary, but the execution is not always successful. To enhance lexical resource, focus on learning synonyms and collocations, and practice using new vocabulary in context. Pay attention to the nuances of word meanings to ensure accurate usage. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, practicing sentence construction, and proofreading carefully for errors. Consider focusing on mastering a smaller range of structures before attempting more complex ones.

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