Letter

Band 6+: You recently purchased a mobile phone from an online store, but it arrived with a cracked screen and a faulty battery. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online store complaining about the damaged phone. You should include details about: - The date you purchased the phone and order number - Describe the damage to the phone and its faulty battery - What action you expect them to take (e.g., a refund or a replacement)

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Dear Sir,

My name is Gold Ese, and I recently purchased an iPhone 17 pro-max from your online shop with order Number- 138442DB, on 15th May, 2026, which was delivered 17th May, 2026 being today.

Upon opening of the package, I discovered a crack on the screen of the phone, and turning it on, some parts of the screen are not responding to touch, the volume button at the side of the phone is also missing.

I expected this phone to come brand new according to the information I saw online, the specifics, as that was what made me purchased proceed with the order, but I was disappointed to seeing this.

I humbly request the phone is changed and a new one is given to me, as I wouldn’t want to be given this same gadget again even after a repair is done.

I look forward to your prompt response regarding my request.

Sincerely,

Gold Ese.

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

phone: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter fully satisfies the requirements of the task. It is well-organized, clear, and provides all the necessary information, including the order details, specific damages, and desired action. The tone is appropriately formal and polite. Occasional omissions or lapses are acceptable.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping related ideas together more explicitly. For example, you could dedicate a separate paragraph to the expected action you want the retailer to take. Also, ensure a smoother transition between the description of the damage and your expectations.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task. To enhance the lexical resource, try incorporating more specific and varied vocabulary related to describing damages and expressing expectations. For instance, instead of 'crack on the screen,' you could use 'a significant fracture across the screen.' Also, vary the language used to express your desired resolution.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'I expected this phone to come brand new according to the information I saw online' could be rephrased for better clarity and grammatical correctness. Proofread carefully to minimize these errors.

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