Letter

Band 5+: You recently bought an item online. When it was delivered you found that the item did not work correctly. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter: • Describe the item and the problem with it • Explain why the item is important for you • Say what you want the manager to do. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to make a complaint about the broken item that I received from your company which I bought through e-commerce, and I need an inquire for a new product.

The thing was a smartphone, which arrived yesterday on the 14th of February 2024 at 04:00 PM. Firstly, I has tried to turn on the device, unfortunately, it was not working. Then I tried to charge the phone, and the screen was still blank, Finally, I tried to use another charger as well but it seemed unworkable.

I had planned to give my sister a new phone this month since her birthday will be coming soon and it is very important to me. My sister dreamed of having this smartphone as she liked the camera feature and the special color of this device.

Therefore, I do not want a full refund for this issue, but, it would be grateful if you could exchange this product to a new one with the same shade and send it to me as soon as possible.

I hope this issue can be resolved swiftly.

Yours faithfully,

Joni

Word Count: 188

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tried: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by describing the item and the problem with it, explaining the importance of the item, and stating what the writer wants the manager to do. However, there are some lapses in content, such as the lack of specific details about the item and the problem, and the request for an 'inquire' for a new product is unclear. It would be better to clearly state the problem with the smartphone and request a replacement.

Coherence & Cohesion

The message is somewhat coherent and cohesive, but there are some issues with paragraphing and the overall organization of the letter. The writer should consider structuring the letter with clear paragraphs for each main point, which would improve the coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat varied, but there are instances of awkward or unclear phrasing, such as 'I need an inquire for a new product' and 'it seemed unworkable.' Additionally, there is a lack of sophisticated vocabulary and some repetition of words. It would be beneficial to use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors in punctuation, tense usage, and sentence structure. For instance, 'I has tried' should be 'I had tried,' and 'it would be grateful' should be 'I would be grateful.' Additionally, there are some issues with subject-verb agreement. Proofreading for these errors would improve the grammatical accuracy.

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